


Snickers, aka Jo Harvelle has issues, and so does Ash.

by Toscasprayer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attack, Self-Harm, Self-Mutilation, Somehow not crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-13
Updated: 2012-10-13
Packaged: 2017-11-16 05:07:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toscasprayer/pseuds/Toscasprayer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jo has coped with mental illness all her life, and one day she finally gives in to what her mind is telling her to do. She then realises that she needs something to help control it, otherwise she won't be able to hunt, and calls Ash to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jo

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever. I dont really know what I'm doing. There is likely going to be a third chapter, but it can be read as is. Reposted from my FF account, under the same name. Review so that I know where I'm going wrong? and my dear friend Nerdburga who shall soon *cross fingers* get and Ao3 account, beta'ed for me, but go check out her FF thingy. shes good. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Even though Jo and Ash are awesome, I'm just borrowing them.

Urgh.

"Dear Diary, I hate these ones. Kindly get rid of them?" Jo snorted to herself. "Yes, because you (a) have a diary, (b) write in it, and (c) diaries can get rid of delusions. Of course."

Shut up. Shut up shut up shut up.

"Yeah, because that always works"

Oh, screw this.

Jo stood up and went to her med box, where she kept the knife for exactly these circumstances. It was tiny, maybe 2 inches long, and curved. It was kept as sharp as all Jo's other knives, sharp enough to shave dry with, but it only had one use.

In, out, in, out, breathe, calm down, don't let the adrenaline take you over yet.

Jo also got out the alcohol swabs, butterfly stitches, sterilised gauze, and medical tape.

C'mon, hurry up.  
No, I don't want this to scar more than it has too.  
Fine, just do it quickly.

Jo quickly swabbed her upper thigh and knife with the alcohol swabs, and pinched her leg so that she could cut easier and quicker. She readied the knife, and blew out a breath in anticipation.

Jo placed the tip of the knife just above where she needed to cut, and sliced open the skin for about 2 or 3 inches. No pain just yet, so it was a good idea to work quickly before it set in. Jo again placed the point of her knife at the top of the incision, and sliced down on the white exposed flesh, that had barely started bleeding.

Argh. Ow. Fuck. Oh joy, now I've got the shakes.

Jo reached for the gauze, and wiped away the blood before it oozed its way onto the sheet. She then pressed the bloodied gauze to the cut, and applied pressure in an attempt to be able to see what she was doing, despite the blood.

Third time lucky…

Jo took a deep breath, steeling herself for the wash of cold, like someone poured a bucket of ice water into a hot bath that she knew the last gouge would bring. Doing her best to control her breathing, and adjusting her grip on her thigh, Jo dug in the tip of the knife, until she felt something faintly pop.

A-hah. Got it.

Tensing her hand so as to not lose grip or control, she dragged the blade down one last time, feeling the tugging of skin reluctantly parting. Feeling slightly lightheaded from the adrenaline and endorphin high, Jo considered leaving the wound open long enough to find something to eat. She had to get rid of the shakes.

But as she cut up an apple, the blood on her leg distracted her, causing her to only shake more. Jo abandoned the fruit to clean up.

Wiping up the last of the blood trail that had made its way down her thigh, down past her knee, and cleaning out the cut, Jo unwrapped the butterfly stitches and carefully pulled the skin closed. Jo then opened another packet of sterile gauze, and taped that down with medical tape.

Slowly breathing out, bringing her attention back to the waiting apple and having assured herself that the taint was gone, Jo called Ash.

"This is Dr Badass."

"Hey Ash."

"Jo! What can I do for you fine lady?"

"Remember that time you said that you could get your hands on psychiatric medication?"

"Yeah, I got a friend from MIT, why?'

"You probably aren't going to like this, but I kind of need some."

"Why?"

"Just, can you get hold of them?"

"Yes sirree."

"Good. Let me know when you have them."

"Hold on a min-"

Jo hung up.


	2. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, yeah. I'm not catholic, and I wasn't raised in any kind of religion, so I got the praying from the internet. tell me if it's wrong?

Driving back to the Roadhouse, Jo's thoughts were tumultuous, centring on one thing: should she tell Ash the truth?

On one hand, Ash would probably find out anyway, because for all his bluster and bravado, he was scarily observant.

On the other, telling him could go badly. What if he didn't believe her? Worse, what if he did and didn't understand? What if it made him look at her differently, like a little girl who couldn't handle herself, like someone who needed protecting until she grew up? Even worse, what if Ash sided with her mum about hunting?

Shaking herself out of her reverie, Jo told herself that she could decide later. She turned up the radio and tuned to the classic local rock station. It was currently playing one of Bill's favourite songs, "Enter Sandman" by Metallica.

If I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take. If I should die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take. If I should die before I wake I pray the lord my soul to take If I should die before I wake I pray -

Jo abruptly switched off the radio, breathing a sigh of relief. Yet still it circled in her head, slowly turning her insane. She knew that she couldn't afford to get lost inside her head while driving, so Jo did the only she knew of that worked to bring herself back.

Jo pulled over into a side road, retrieving her rosary from the side pocket of her duffle. Keeping her mind determinedly black, refusing to count anything at all, Jo unbuckled herself and climbed onto the roof of the car.

Grasping the beads in her delicate looking hands, Jo made the sign of the cross, and slowly recited what she was taught. She began with the Apostle's Creed; "I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord; Who was conceived…" Jo then went on to pray Our Father, "…who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name; Thy kingdom come..." And continued with three Hail Mary's. "Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women…"

After having prayed the rosary for almost an hour, Jo's mind had shut up, at least enough to enjoy the empty floating feeling that came with everything being quiet for once. An idle thought passed through her mind;

I could really go for a Snickers Bar right now. It was at this moment that a small smile played across Jo's lips, for she realised her praying had worked. "I owe ya one, big guy," she muttered as she slid off the roof of the car, and set off to find the closest Snickers dealer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want a better ending, tell me, because I have it half-written. It has Ash's reaction to everything and such.


End file.
